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© Storm Genevieve Black 2015. All Rights Reserved

First published in Connect Magazine February/March 2017

Am I the best form of me that I can be right now? Are you the best form of you? Is it unkind to question those two points, rather than to blindly believe them to be the truth both of ourselves and every other person we meet. The truth is humans are not perfect. We are often not the best form of the person we could be at any given moment in our lives. We have bad days, mood swings, tempers that get lost, fights are started, wars even, we lie, we cheat, we were raping and pillaging for centuries. Yet many folk still brush all of this human nature under the carpet and close themselves off into a very insular world, not only never taking responsibility for their own actions but excusing the actions of everyone else in the world all in the one breath. Is it unkind for example to tell a child “No” or is it the will of the gods that the child always gets what it wants. Is “love and light” really the way forward, or are we blinding ourselves like a proverbial moth butting its head against the source of the light in its own besotted state probably preaching love and light as it goes. I am not suggesting that there is anything wrong with following a philosophy of kindness to our fellow human beings, or a belief based on love, but I do believe it is misguided to consider it the solution to all of the problems in the world. After all, if the world must remain in balance then for every kindness, there must be an unkindness, and I am not referring to flocks of ravens suddenly congregating on the other side of the planet to the afore mentioned random act of kindness. Scholars now define the 1970's as the beginning of the 'new age' movement. Whether this was or was not the dawning of the age of Aquarius that brought with it electricity, computers, flight, democracy, freedom, humanitarianism, modernisation, astrology, humanity and perseverance. Yes the late 60's and early 70's was considered A time of kindness, freedom, unconditional love and peace to all. However at the same time the world began struggling as a result of nervous disorders, idealism rebellion, nonconformity, philanthropy, veracity, and irresolution. the Baader-Meinhof group was beginning to terrorise citizens in Germany. They were not as dexterous as the far right groups and “terrorists” we hear about on the news today, they were however equally sinister, and the far left used many of the same tactics, resulting in bombs and gunfire to make their point. On the one hand anarchy, on the other hand terrorism, and if everything must remain in balance, then the more terrorists and anarchists we see, the more citizens we will have sending them unconditional love, and excusing their every action as something akin to the act of God it was claimed to be. Then we end up back at the original questions asking ourselves respectively are we the best form of us we can be right now and is it wrong to tell a child “No”? All be it on a much grander scale.

It is about now that I ask myself yet again “isn't it time we stopped bashing our heads against the blinding light and found for ourselves another solution?” One that doesn't excuse every terrible thing that anyone else might do to us or to those we love. One that accepts responsibility for our own actions, and allows others to do the same. That allows us to speak up when something or someone hurts us.

What if we all did exactly that. Took responsibility for our own actions. Allowed ourselves to have a bad day, to be in a bad mood, to accept that what someone did yesterday really hurt, or upset us, or maybe even put us in the bad mood we now find ourselves in. Once you acknowledge the feelings you actually have, and accept the things that you really feel, then you are in control of your own energy. Then you can make the choice to be kind, or unkind if you so desire. You will however be responsible for your own actions, for your own kindness and unkindness. Is it not often the case that when we find ourselves right in the midst of a situation our view may become as insular and clouded as that of the blinded moth after all. The phrase “you have to be cruel to be kind” does not actually mean that you have to become an unkind person. More that we as human beings sometimes find ourselves having to tell someone that which they do not want to hear. Telling someone that you can not continue a relationship with them because you can clearly see that you both want different things from life is never easy, and the other person is more than likely to feel hurt, even betrayed and like you are the most unkind person they have ever known. After a while however they will often be glad that the relationship ended when it did because they too will be able to see things more clearly. To achieve the life they wanted all along. We are not all perfect all of the time. Isn't it about time we accepted each other and ourselves for who we really are.